"I hope, but never expect."

- David Levithan, Every Day

Wow. YOU GUYS. Holy freaking wow.

I'm sitting here in my fancy red dress (which is made of silk and has no sleeves, so y'know, not the most practical article of clothing on a snowy day with temps below 20). Important thing to note: It's World AIDS Day. (At least seven of the conspirators work or have worked in HIV services; another conspirator rode her bike a gazillion miles last year to benefit HIV services; there are probably even more connections that I know nothing about.)

This afternoon, the red notebook made its way back into my hands. (I've pawed through it twice, and I still haven't really seen everything in it yet.)

Practically bursting at the seams. (Hey, HP, those shoelaces really ended up coming in handy!)

Finally reunited.

 

I'm not sure how I'm going to identify everyone's contributions (some are really easy, but others aren't). I don't know how I'm going to make sure everyone who had a part in this will get to see the full, final product (it's important to me that all of you do). I'm not sure how I'm going to fill the remaining blank pages....

This is me, in true red notebook fashion, challenging myself to be brave by making my first real vlog:  

Thank you all for agreeing to play along in this odd little idea of mine. In just shy of 11 months, the red notebook traveled to 14 states and the District of Columbia. A total of 28 people (including me, and Rehab's kid, who drew in it at lunch today) took custody of the book and made some kind of magic with it.

As Tony Kushner wrote at the end of Angels in America: You are fabulous, each and every one.

SO. CLOSE.

Danielle, our final conspirator, posted this to Facebook earlier tonight:

...And in 16 days, I'll be getting it back.

Sometimes I'm a little slow...

..but I always get around to it!

I know, my most recent update on the book is WAY late.  It has been sent, via UPS to the last conspirator.

I talked with Mia through google chat about my notebook insecurities - and I was getting more and more nervous the closer it got to me.  Then it arrived.  I just happened to need to go by my parent's house and brought the notebook with me.  Mom was awake, so I read it to her, and she let me take this picture.  Now, in the picture, she's not smiling - because she had to have her teeth removed - it makes her self-conscious - but lemme tell you she had a grip on that book!

I put out a call for awesomeness on my facebook page.  I thought.. the goal here is to decrease world suck.  Let's move it beyond the conspirators on the list.  I didn't get nearly as many responses as I thought I would - but I did get some good ones.  I can't wait till you guys get a chance to read them.  I have just re-friended Tara, since there's no more need for secrecy.

Having the book was amazing, and honestly very humbling.  All of YOU are inspiring.  I am pretty proud just  to have been a part of this little thing.  Thank you.

I could never be Amish

Sometimes, Facebook annoys the hell out of me, but you know why I stick around? Dani.

Dani moved to the small village in southeastern New York where I grew up the summer before seventh grade. Her family only stayed for that year, and then they moved to Georgia. We wrote letters. We hung out one day the summer after high school when she was up visiting her grandparents. We emailed a little after that, but eventually lost touch. Shortly after my mom died, Dani and I connected again on Facebook.*

During the hardest period of my life, she was there in ways people who had known me longer and better and lived closer weren't.

She told me about her life, about her sisters (it still freaks me out that they are all grown up -- I picture them as the small people they were when they lived around the corner 20 years ago). She told me about her mom's MS. (I didn't know Dani's mom all that well when they lived nearby, but she always reminded me of my mom -- the kind of lady that didn't take crap from anyone.)

Just a few minutes ago, Dani texted me a picture of her mom with the red notebook. (This is probably because Dani temporarily unfriended and blocked me from Facebook last night so that I can't see any of the things she's doing with the notebook. The suspense is kind of killing me. The picture text was a nice reprieve from the suspense, and it definitely made me a little teary.)

I have no idea what else Dani is doing with the notebook, how she's planning to create awesome, but that picture was a bit of awesome for me, just a couple weeks after my mom's third deathiversary. 



*About a year later, a similar thing happened with another childhood friend who turned out to live IN THE SAME STATE as me. That's reason enough to stay on Facebook.

Dani has the Red Notebook!

Hi!  I'm Dani - I just got the notebook.  I mean I literally JUST got home, picked up my mail - opened the package with absolute glee - and forced my roommate to take this picture.  Please excuse the freshly washed face and bum bandana.  :)

I haven't read anything yet.  I haven't added anything yet.  I know already though, that this could quite possibly be that ONE thing that I have a part of that really makes me proud.  Seriously.  I can't wait. I'm nervous.  I am afraid that it will be so awesome and amazing that I won't be able to make it even more awesome and amazing.  But you know what?  I'm going to do it anyway.  For you guys, and for Tara - and to absolutely DECREASE WORLD SUCK!

Here's one more pic of the notebook - and you'll hear from me again soon!

I still don't have my notebook back, but I got to hang around with a big, red cow for a little while in Vermont....

When the Notebook was in NC...

(Yes, I'm changing the posting date. I'm writing this on 10/23, but for my own OCD-related reasons, I want this to show up before Dani announces she has it. Because I'm anal like that. True story.)

I promised Graceless that I would update the blog, but things have been utterly crazy in my world. So... better late than never, ja? Here we go...

The Red Notebook arrived sometime while I was on vacation in Florida. But when I returned on October 1st, it was in the mailbox waiting for me. As soon as I saw the package, I knew exactly what it was, and was beyond excited. I decided to forgo unpacking, and read the notebook instead.

I had told Graceless I would try to keep the turnover rate to a week. I've had months and months to think about everything. So I was ready to go! But as I started working my way through the notebook, and soaking up the awesomeness within, I realized I couldn't be done with it in merely a week! That was impossible!


At one point, I was going to send it to her. But then it told me it wasn't ready to leave yet. There was a touch bit more awesomeness to add. So I listened, and I did. 

I kept it for two weeks before sending it along to Dani.

I followed some of the missions. And I want to post all about my experiences and such. But I can't. Mostly because I don't want to leave any spoilers. I DO plan on a larger update, after the notebook is back with Graceless. Then I won't feel bad about sharing, because the surprise won't be ruined.

On a bit of a side note... I'm completely bewildered over something that may or may not have happened. I could have sworn that on my first day with the notebook I had read a cookie recipe, and had planned on following the instructions attached. But when I went back - TWICE! - to find the recipe so I could go along with it, I couldn't find it again. Did I hallucinate it being there in the first place? Or did I really manage to overlook it several times over again?

 PS - I wanted to take pictures of my cats with the notebook, too. But they opted to shy away from it.